You are the light...

why?

i am sitting, steaming, wondering where and what and how i got myself into this. why all these things aren't working, why the unplanned tzeentchian machinations are all of the sudden falling in upon themselves. why i can't see her without feeling some pain.

what did i do? what am i not doing? i care, i love, but i still feel that it isn't enough.

strange, how in every past experience of this nature, i have been the one unable to see it, or fully appreciate it. i have been the uncomfortable one. and now the roles have changed.

"but i, i would, wish it all away
if i, thought i'd loose you, just one day..."

i just want to be able to do things and not have it needlessly acknowledged. i want to stop having an effect.

i want to be small again, so that i can build my way up...

i love you.