time is never time alone

you can never ever leave, without leaving a piece of youth...."

believe in me. cuz i don't.
in the fear of sounded as a clone(emo) i struggle to announce theese words, because i become typecast, stereopackaged and assimilated. smooth inconsistent yet useful. mighty mighty me. but i struggle, cuz how the fuck am i to live within my own shackles? how am i to breather without real life? how can i do anything that i want anymore?

i want to grow up, have a car and never be married again. i want to move, sing, do what is needed and never hav e to abiode by another, i want freedom, freedom of choice, sex, booze, love, deathlifemoodkissfuckdie. i want it all and nothing. i want i want i want i want iwant. but never considerate. i wonder what it is like to not be considerate.

i want to fly. and kill. i want to feel a blade slice through their flesh. to bend their bracket, feel their pain. i want to absorb into another, feel their blood pulse beneath me, their flesh quiver in joy, beating against mine. i want to ride, to rise to sing and never be seen again.

to fall. and to truly be alive for the few instances i have left...